Couldn't say Goodbye
by Nicole.Cat
Summary: Bella is getting abused by her dad but no one knows, how can she tell Edward whats happening with out him getting worried. better then the summary and no I dont think Charlie is like this I actually think Charlie is great !
1. Introduction

**heyy here :)  
Sadly I don't own Twilight :(****This is my first shot writing a story so wish me luck...**

**It's based on a Poem I wrote that I can email people if the wish :)**

Introduction:

Hi, my names Isabella Swan, but I prefer Bella. I live in the small town of Forks Washington and I am 17 years old. I live here with my Dad Charlie. Charlie is a mess and usually comes home drunk but I still love him, I mean he is my dad I kind of have to….. Don't I?  
My life was hell until I met Edward. Edward is amazing, with his beautiful bronze bed hair and Green eyes that you can't resist spilling your guts to when you look into them.  
I guess that's all you really need to know about me. Oh yer and I also suffer from something a little called child abuse, well I guess it's not that little.

_**Review if you think I should keep writing :)  
thanks!**_


	2. Chapter 1

**heyy took a while to update but its finelly here :)  
still don't own Twilight D:**

I guess you could say that my life is a little different to some peoples, harder or more confusing but it was how I was bought up its all I ever knew. I didn't know that your dad wasn't supposed to hit you if you didn't do something as little as put the pepper on the table, I didn't know that other dads didn't drink that much and I didn't know that what dad was doing was illegal. I thought nothing of it and just went on living what I thought was a normal life.

My mum was an alcoholic and died when I was 10. After that dad just went crazy, he started doing drugs and came home with his eyes blood shot. I eventually found out that he was trying to kill himself so he wouldn't have to go through the pain of living without her. It was that night that I convinced him to stop, that I was in his life as well and that I needed him. He was the only family I had left. I knew that dad loved her so I tried making his life as easy a possible by doing more house work and occasionally making him breakfast in bed but it wasn't enough he still went out drinking every night and came home so late that I had to start making my own dinner as well.

It was when I turned 12 that the abuse started getting really bad. At this age he had me making breakfast, lunch and dinner not only for me but for him as well. I couldn't ever go over to peoples houses because I had to be home to make his dinner otherwise I would get beaten. If I wasn't there he would punch or kick me until I was on the floor in pain not being able to move because I was either to scared to or was in so much pain that I couldn't.

Now I am 17 and am still going by the same routine. Unlike every other teenage girl or any other human being for that matter, I actually like school it is my only get away the only place were I am actually safe.

I was sitting in my usual spot in the cafeteria minding my own business, I wasn't exactly popular and no body sat with me during our 'brakes' so I usually spent this time studying. No one came up to me because they were all scared of me. They had seen my bruises from Charlie but never expected that it was from abuse seen as though my father Charlie was known for being the great chef of police. Everyone thought I had got into some street fight and there were heaps of rumours like, I almost killed a man in a fight until Charlie pulled me off or I accidently fell on some guys girlfriend and he got so annoyed that he through me on the ground and kicked me till I bled. A verity was made up to explain my bruised arms and legs, my broken ribs and aching muscles and the occasional blood stained face but none of them were true and I couldn't tell anybody the truth because… well his my dad. I was scared to tell people what was happening to me and I just lived with it hoping that he would eventually see that I am his daughter and that I should be important to him, but that never happened.

I remember when one night he had hurt me so badly. Even now thinking about it made a shiver run down my somewhat crooked spine.

_Flash back_

_Last night Charlie abused me really badly I still had bruises every were, my muscles were aching like crazy and my face was still blood stained. I went to sit at my usual spot in biology and waited for class to start. I heard the set next to me move and I looked up to smile and who ever was lucky enough to sit next to me but it was a bad idea to show them my face. They looked at me in horror when they saw the blood stains and then looked over the rest of my body and saw all the bruises. They ran away and started telling their friend immediately and that's when the rumours started. From then on no one sat next to me or even talked to me there was always a space between me and the person standing next to me and no one ever looked at me for to long._

_End Flash Back_

I pulled my mind from the past and into the present. It was then that I suddenly heard a lot of whispers. I calmly placed my hand on my back to see if they could tell that my spine wasn't in the right shape but my clothes were all in the normal spot. My baggy jumper and trackies practically covering my whole body. I turned around to what they were all talking about, and then I saw him. An amazing boy walking through the cafeteria. He had sexy bronze bed hair and amazing green eyes, I couldn't help but to stare at him until his eyes met mine and I looked away feeling the redness burst over my cheeks. I couldn't help myself and I peeked up at him only to find that he was still starring at me. I once again checked that I was completely covered and everything was correct. Why was he starring at me? I had no idea, I wasn't interesting or pretty like any of they other girls. Why me?

**so what did you think?  
review?... or not**


	3. Chapter 2

**Hey well I know no one reviewed but I have decided to continue this one any way, just because I can't get what's going to happen out of my head so here it goes **

Through out lunch we took turns starring at each other. I would look at him and then he would look up and catch me starring then he would look at me for a while. By the end of lunch I had remembered every detail about him, well every detail that I could see from this far away. The Bell went and everyone started moving towards their next class, I always waited for everyone so I wouldn't get pushed around and hurt even more. I stood up and me being the klutz I am, I immediately fell over making my books spread across every where. As I was collecting them all I realised I wasn't the only other person in this room, I looked up and noticed a perfect boy standing in front of me holding some of the books that had fallen out of my bag.  
"hi I'm Edward Cullen" he said I was so confused, he was the only one that has talked to me for ages, I forgot how to talk for a second and he gave me a strange look, probably because of the stunned look on my face.  
"And you are….?" I still couldn't talk his voice had my mind in a muddle but I finally pulled myself together.  
"Isabella Swan, but I prefer Bella" I said in a mumbled voice. He handed me my books,  
"Well I guess these are yours, Bella" I would never get used to his voice, well I guess I wouldn't have to, he probably just felt sorry for me or hasn't heard all the rumours yet but when we realises he wont talk to me again.  
"We better get to class" I said in a rush I had to get out before I became too stunned to even move.  
"Alright, maybe I will see you around" I couldn't believe what he was saying, someone had obviously put him up to this but I decided to play along,  
"Maybe" I said walking away and trying to make a graceful exit but because I'm, well me I just had to trip over the flat surface and fell flat on my face. He walked over to me but I just got up said I was fine and kept walking, as soon as I was out of eye sight I sprinted to my next class. I still couldn't believe what had just happened and I spent the whole of Math trying to think of reasons why he had starting talking to me and why I wanted to talk to him again. The day soon ended and I had to go home to cook Charlies dinner, I got in my car and I was just about to start the engine when I realise my phone was no longer in the side pocket of my bag. I got out of the car a traced my steps back doing this as quickly as possible so I could get home in time but I couldn't find it any where, I will just have to get a new one before Charlie notices. I started running back to the car but before I could get there a hit into the one person that I had been thinking of since lunch and I fell to the ground but before I hit the floor he had spun around and caught me.  
"Oh hi Bella, I believe this is yours" he said to me handing me my phone, "you dropped it in the cafeteria and ran out before I could give it to you". I took my phone from his hand,  
"Thank-you Edward" he looked stunned that I actually remembered his name but how could I not he was that amazing guy that talked to me for the first time in years. I walked away hoping to leave him wanting more but then I once again fell over, I quickly got up hoping that he didn't see but I swear I heard him laugh under his breath. Once I got into the car I looked at the time, shit it was already 4:30 Charlie would be home in half an hour and will want his dinner on the table when he gets there. It will have to be a quick dinner tonight, for the whole drive home I was to busy thinking about Edward that I completely forgot about dinner and by the time I got out of the car and started thinking about dinner it was to late, I heard Charlies police car pull into the drive way. Crap what was I going to do?

**Well hopefully you liked it, if you did review?...**


	4. Chapter 3

**Hey here :) well I just really want everyone to know that I have NOTHING against Charlie in fact I think his a great dad and so cute in some moments of twilight :). So here is another chapter I hope you enjoy.**

I hardly slept that night as soon as Charlie came into the kitchen and realised nothing was ready he through me to the ground and kicked me leaving me there half dead. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it to my room so I just stayed on the kitchen floor hoping he would leave me there in peace, but of course I was wrong. During the night Charlie came down to get a beer and tripped over me, he couldn't control himself and once again went off at me. I mean at least he was nice enough to not make me bleed any more; he also didn't hit me in the same places so it hurt a little less but I was still crippled over in pain by the end of it. Luckily in the morning I was strong enough to stand but I could hardly walk. I quickly made Charlie his breakfast and left it on the table for him to eat once he had gotten up. I drove to school slowly afraid to go any faster, I didn't like driving fast it only reminded me of one thing.  
When I was 13, on the 4 year anniversary of mums death Charlie drove us both down to her grave, he said it was respectful to visit her grave every once in a while but this time was different. We payed our respects and left flowers for her I even sang her a song but it wasn't enough for Charlie. He grabbed me by the hair and pulled me back to the car he said that we had to do more for her to love us again, I didn't understand I thought that mum loved us both all the time but apparently not. When we got to the car Charlie released, well pulled it out but it meant he wasn't holding me any more. I lay on the ground my head bleeding but Charlie didn't care he just picked me up by the hood chocking me and through me into the car. He was driving us home and just kept mumbling I have to see her again. I noticed the trees flying past the window and only then I realise Charlie was going at least 110 on a 60 kph road. He the turned a corner so sharp that it sent me flying into the window seen as though Charlie wouldn't allow me to were a seat belt, he said it was just another hassle that he didn't need. My head continued to bleed and suddenly I heard the screech of the tyres and...  
that's all I can remember, I woke up in the hospital rapped up in bandages. The doctors discovered that I had 5 broken ribs and that my fingers were all popped out of their sockets, they kept saying it was weird and wondered how it happened just by crashing but what they didn't know was that the night before Charlie had pulled me by one of my fingers around the house saying that my hands had to be stronger and that this was the reason they were all out of place.  
Every time I go over the speed of 40kph I freak out and think that I will crash. I don't want to have to explain my crook spin and bruised everywhere to the doctors.  
I got to school just as the bell went and I had to run, as fast as I could with out my back, legs and head hurting as well as being careful not to fall over. Luckily I got to class just as the teacher walked in and he didn't make me explain to the class why I was late. I recognised Edward at the back of my biology class sitting at the bench that I usually sat in. I went down there and waited for the comment "what happened to your face" or at least the look of confusion but he didn't say anything and he looked like normal well as normal as a complete god could look like.  
"Hi Bella" was all he said and my head started spinning.

**Sorry it's short, but it's holidays now so I might be writing more often :) Hope you liked this chapter.  
xx **


	5. Chapter 4

**I can't believe I never got to write over the holidays :/. But I have finally got a chapter up with the help of my beta – NotTooLate :) thanks a heap and also my friend Edwards good girl. xx**

During biology, Edward and I just talked; it was the first time in years when I had an actual decent conversation with anyone, even family. The truth was that I'm just not a people person; and I was surprised that Edward enjoyed talking to me. We had discovered that we have other classes together like Math and English; and I wasn't sure whether I considered that this was a good or bad thing, as I didn't exactly want to spend too much time with Edward. I feared that sooner or later, he would begin to wonder and ask about my bruises and scars, but for the moment I did enjoy his company and I knew that I had to stick to the present.

I wondered why he couldn't make it easy and stop being so perfect; couldn't he just say something wrong, and make me stop longing for his presence the way I did? Then I might have actually had a reason not to talk to him and save both him and myself all the trouble of explanation. But instead, he was just too perfectly amazing with his bronze hair and model looks, sweet sc...

"Bella, hello is everything alright?" He asked me suddenly, and I couldn't help but remark that he was permanently so concerned and sweet... No wait, stop thinking that Bella; don't get attached to him, he will eventually hear the rumours and you will be wrecked, just don't get attached, well any more attached then what you are; now reply, my conscience indicated.

"Everything's fine, sorry, I just got lost in thought, "I told him, following the advice that I had given myself. The conversation kept going, and I only sounded stupid for a couple of times, which I was quite proud of.

It wasn't until the end of the lesson that I realised that everyone was staring at me; at first I thought it was because of the bruises on my face from the night before but I then registered that they weren't gazing at me with scared eyes; they were almost longing. I didn't understand this until Edward started talking again; and I noticed that they were gaping at me only because I was talking to him. It was either the fact that they couldn't believe the fact that he was talking to me, either they were simply just piercing me with their penetrating eyes.

I found that I couldn't take all the attention and ended up running out as soon as the bell rang. I went straight to Math but then perceived the fact that I shared this class with Edward as well. I would just ignore him and then nobody would stare, hopefully. At that moment Edward came into the room with a confused, but still adorable smile plastered on his face.  
"Hi, Bella, did I do something wrong?" he asked in a hesitant voice, the question coming out on a wobbly tone due to the confusion that he had added to it.

"No, you did nothing wrong at all, that's the problem," I reassured him but my voice trailed off to mumbling, in the last part. I tried very hard to ignore him; I even brought my brown hair over my shoulder to cover my face a little, but people still ended up staring at the two of us.

"May I walk you to the cafeteria?" he questioned in his amazingly dazzling voice; and despite the fact that I was quite eager to do so, I knew that I had to get out of it, and besides, I couldn't take any more of the gazing so I let the first thing that came to my head burst out.

"I have to pee," I announced but immediately caught my forehead in my palm. Why the hell did I say that I? I was aware of the fact that I had sounded like an idiot; he was just about to say something but I had cut him off, trying to save my butt and make myself sound a bit more interested.

"But I will meet you in there," I added in my sweetest voice, turning and walking towards the bathrooms. But why the hell did I say that as well; I would never know. Now I will have to sit with him during lunch break. Great, I sighed. Luckily I made it to the bathroom without falling, and as soon as got there I ran to the mirror.

I felt disgusted at the sight that I had before me. Had I really looked like that the whole time I was with him? I gulped suddenly, regarding myself in the mirror. I was fairly too pale for my own good, with hardly any colour in my face, unless I blushed which was quite often. I had tangled brown hair, chocolate-like eyes, and I was generally quite a plain person. I pinched my cheeks, attempting to form a bit of colour, and tried to comb through my hair with my fingers but it was of no use. I would always be the ordinary- looking girl with bruises on her face, but for now it would have to do; I had promised I would meet him in there and that was what I was going to do.

After spending a while in the bathroom, trying to convince myself and pondering the idea of going to that place I currently found abhorrent, I eventually found the courage to, only to see Jessica sitting right next to Edward. He didn't look at all amused by their conversation, even though Jessica was laughing hysterically, and as soon as his eyes met mine his eyes lit up like New Years on Sydney Harbor Bridge. He called me over with a single gesture of his hand's, and I approached him; the urge of keeping still not being strong enough. Luckily, I didn't fall over, but as I sat down beside  
Jessica, she seemed quite disturbed, and to my utter disappointment, she tried to make conversation anyway.

"So, Bella, I see you have already met Edward here," she said with an inquiring smile.  
"Yeah, we have a few classes together," I responded, glancing over towards Edward, noticing that he had the most amazing half-smile I had ever seen. I almost fainted at the sight, but I had to keep myself conscious. Why did he have to be so great? It almost seemed unfair to me. I was taken out of my thoughts by Jessica though, asking the one question I was permanently trying  
to avoid.  
"Bella, why do you always come to school so bruised?" she wondered, and I could tell she was honestly curious, and besides, I knew that everyone was within eavesdropping distance as well. I didn't answer for a while, but she wouldn't take silence for an answer, therefore, she pushed the question a bit more.  
"Is it because you are clumsy, or do you get into bar fights or..." I could tell she was trying to think of something that she would make me tell her, or make me scared, but I wasn't expecting her to say what she did. Was it really an option, could she read my mind, or was it a random question? I had no idea, but there was no way I could give her an honest answer.

**Now I'm not sure what the question should be yet so pm me or leave a review with any suggestions that you have :) thanks for reading xx Nicolie**


End file.
